He wrote the most beautiful literature
Without even knowing my name
That poem gave me chills down my spine
Like unruffled drops of rain
Raindrops that trickle gently
Down the arch of my back
That vigorously journey, exploring
My love without a map
His face so unfamiliar
His words their contradiction
He made me feel a way
That I’m not sure if I should mention
My body poured out its nectar
This trickled slowly down my thighs
My imagination had me wondering
If I could in turn make him rise
This mystery man came as a surprise
On a day I deeply needed
I don’t care why he chose me because
The hardships of my day were impeded
His smile is etched in my heart
And to him I give that moment of lust
Maybe one day we’ll meet,
Until then he’s my Mr. Anonymous
If at all possible please leave comments to respectfully and tactfully critique my poem. I welcome all constructive criticisms.
ReplyDeleteThank you,
~Tasha
i like the rhyme scheme and some of the offbeat rhymes...it left me with a smile...i thought playful, yet honest...there are a few places you are passive where i would be active to kick the action up a bit, such as, "raindrops that trickle" as opposed to "raindrops trickling"...its style though...
ReplyDeletethanks Brian...I guess its just me..sometimes I'm flirty sometimes I'm bashful all at once lol
ReplyDeleteSweet minded, good flow work.
ReplyDeleteDoes have a nice lyrical ring that would be great to music...love your ring girl...as beautiful as you smile....bkm
ReplyDeletethanks guys...dont be afraid to point out the flaws ;p
ReplyDeletenice...poems indeed can send chills down the spine..
ReplyDelete